It is time again to evaluate thoughts and feelings about a parent; this time however, it is my father…the funny thing to me is instantly my mind turns analytical when talking about my dad as opposed to emotional, which is the opposite when I think of my mother.
I find this humorous because between the two of them he is probably more sensitive and more emotional. However, this was not always evident to us boys who generally thought of him as God’s right hand and her as some sort of angel sent to keep wrath from raining down upon us…
It was not that he walked around hostile and angry, it was that we were scared of him before he opened his mouth and terrified once he did, as kids due to the strength of his words and the imposing figure he presented when he spoke with conviction we had small alternatives but to feel a sense of fear.
Despite his own childhood, adolescence and young adulthood he found a way to show us love to the best of his ability and normally it was pretty fair. It was not his fault that he is a large man with a massive voice and a faith that convinced us he knew something other people did not.
The amount of expectation and responsibility he must have felt each and every moment would have been debilitating for most but he, like my mother, plowed forward and did everything he felt he had to do and when that was done he did more. He wanted to ensure that we had everything he did not.
His story really is a modern day simile to the Horatio Alger drama. Perhaps his successes would be counted differently than those of Alger, but coming from where he did and the early choices he made in relation to those childhood circumstances there is little doubt that his main battle was a spiritual one from the very beginning.
He worked hard as a father, husband, minister, and a student; although he would admit he was far from perfect, there is little doubt that between he and my mom the three of us boys have always had the kind of parents you could go home too no matter what and when you did, you always felt welcome, loved, and accepted.
It is not uncommon for children to take their fathers for granted and I would have been quite guilty of this in my youth and into early adulthood. As matter of fact, I took nearly everything he did for granted; assumed it is what fathers were supposed to do and maybe they are supposed to, but once I reached sobriety at thirty, the veil was lifted and I recognized immediately that not all fathers were equal in their approach to fatherhood.
By God’s grace, I recognized instantly that God had cared for me right from the start by selecting with no mistake, the people I would call mom and dad.
As I started to get to know people in a clear, unfiltered way, I learned that how my father lived was somewhat extraordinary; the ability to balance all aspects of a life including children is something that I have rarely conceived of being capable.
To me, dad has always been a minister because the life he lived before getting married to my mom and joining the ministry is but a distant and foggy one that I never really knew. I learn more and more each passing day about the history and the obstacles he overcame to do what he is doing today and with each new day, I receive a new admiration for him and his obvious mission.
When I was a child I would sneak up to the pulpit when the church was empty and pretend I was providing a sermon to the congregation, just like my dad did every Sunday from before I was born until this very day some 37 years later. And I imagine he will continue doing it until somehow they force him into retirement.
As an adult son now, I am blessed to be able to work with my dad and stand at the very place he and the other ministers speak to the congregation of Central United Church.
Because of him and his deep love for God, which translates to a sincere love for his fellows, the world has and continues to expand in directions I never dreamt. We are sharing in experiences I could not imagine previously and there is not a day that goes by in which I am not grateful to be his son.
To say that I love my parents feels like a drastic understatement despite the gravity of that word. They are guiding lights as my life unfolds and although they are not perfect they maintain an idea of principles that has seemed unflappable throughout my first 37 years.
Now, by the grace of God and their nurturing, I have the opportunity to develop these same principles in my daily life.
Thank you dad, I love you and am honored to be a part of your ministry. What it means to me that we stand together, I may spend the rest of my life sorting through.
David Lewry
I find this humorous because between the two of them he is probably more sensitive and more emotional. However, this was not always evident to us boys who generally thought of him as God’s right hand and her as some sort of angel sent to keep wrath from raining down upon us…
It was not that he walked around hostile and angry, it was that we were scared of him before he opened his mouth and terrified once he did, as kids due to the strength of his words and the imposing figure he presented when he spoke with conviction we had small alternatives but to feel a sense of fear.
Despite his own childhood, adolescence and young adulthood he found a way to show us love to the best of his ability and normally it was pretty fair. It was not his fault that he is a large man with a massive voice and a faith that convinced us he knew something other people did not.
The amount of expectation and responsibility he must have felt each and every moment would have been debilitating for most but he, like my mother, plowed forward and did everything he felt he had to do and when that was done he did more. He wanted to ensure that we had everything he did not.
His story really is a modern day simile to the Horatio Alger drama. Perhaps his successes would be counted differently than those of Alger, but coming from where he did and the early choices he made in relation to those childhood circumstances there is little doubt that his main battle was a spiritual one from the very beginning.
He worked hard as a father, husband, minister, and a student; although he would admit he was far from perfect, there is little doubt that between he and my mom the three of us boys have always had the kind of parents you could go home too no matter what and when you did, you always felt welcome, loved, and accepted.
It is not uncommon for children to take their fathers for granted and I would have been quite guilty of this in my youth and into early adulthood. As matter of fact, I took nearly everything he did for granted; assumed it is what fathers were supposed to do and maybe they are supposed to, but once I reached sobriety at thirty, the veil was lifted and I recognized immediately that not all fathers were equal in their approach to fatherhood.
By God’s grace, I recognized instantly that God had cared for me right from the start by selecting with no mistake, the people I would call mom and dad.
As I started to get to know people in a clear, unfiltered way, I learned that how my father lived was somewhat extraordinary; the ability to balance all aspects of a life including children is something that I have rarely conceived of being capable.
To me, dad has always been a minister because the life he lived before getting married to my mom and joining the ministry is but a distant and foggy one that I never really knew. I learn more and more each passing day about the history and the obstacles he overcame to do what he is doing today and with each new day, I receive a new admiration for him and his obvious mission.
When I was a child I would sneak up to the pulpit when the church was empty and pretend I was providing a sermon to the congregation, just like my dad did every Sunday from before I was born until this very day some 37 years later. And I imagine he will continue doing it until somehow they force him into retirement.
As an adult son now, I am blessed to be able to work with my dad and stand at the very place he and the other ministers speak to the congregation of Central United Church.
Because of him and his deep love for God, which translates to a sincere love for his fellows, the world has and continues to expand in directions I never dreamt. We are sharing in experiences I could not imagine previously and there is not a day that goes by in which I am not grateful to be his son.
To say that I love my parents feels like a drastic understatement despite the gravity of that word. They are guiding lights as my life unfolds and although they are not perfect they maintain an idea of principles that has seemed unflappable throughout my first 37 years.
Now, by the grace of God and their nurturing, I have the opportunity to develop these same principles in my daily life.
Thank you dad, I love you and am honored to be a part of your ministry. What it means to me that we stand together, I may spend the rest of my life sorting through.
David Lewry